Looking at the fig tree, still full of leaves, the filled birdfeeder, painted a madder red, with its first bird, a finch, head and back the color of madder, feeding, and after a week of ‘hell,’ I’m here, back, in our lovely home in Del Mar. Word is getting out in the bird world: the feeder is filled! The feeder is filled! The lady is back for the winter!
This is what it means to be back, to be here, not in some space-less spaces in the head where one cannot get beyond one’s own biology. Biology is everything. It is either kind, or not, and right now it is kind, and my belief that the kindness and unkindness should both be one notwithstanding, I am relieved it is kind this morning. I am at rest and ready, in my own slow and slumbering way, to do or not do as I am moved or not.

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