I notice that my last post said nothing about my mother so let me make amends here. I don’t want to be like my mother in ways that I can help it. I suppose that is what evolution is about — learning from your parents mistakes. I suppose what I consider my mother’s greatest mistake is her inability to see things from any but her own point of view. There are many others: wanting everyone in her life to be a ‘yes’ person, a sycophant, and then complaining that no one loves her. She can be a Dragon Lady, and in my life I have always avoided women who are into their own power. But for those women who have had such mothers, I offer hope. After my father’s death in 2007 (I adored . . . no, adore him — more of how dead people can be alive for us, later), I vowed to love my mother unconditionally. As she grows more and more lonely in her old age, I call her daily, visit her as often as I can, and love her when I am with her. She has said her mother didn’t know how to love and she inherited it from her — my mother has never been physical, but the last time I visited her she actually lifted her hand and placed it on my arm — the closest she has come to making a loving gesture! Yes, I know a few people like that in addition to her. How sad it is.

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