Is very hard to do. Generally, when we are ‘rejected’ and we ‘fail,’ the first person we beat up on is ourselves: you’re not good enough, you don’t have what it takes, you’re stupid and worthless, etc, etc. This can get so serious that you can take your life over it. We read about it in the papers daily, especially in India: students who didn’t pass, farmers who couldn’t repay their debts, etc. I have personal knowledge with Donald. A month before he killed himself he had applied for and failed to get a teaching job.

Two days ago when we opened up the same bottle of wine to celebrate failure, Payson’s toast was: He’s to not giving ourselves a hard time. I might add the following: here’s to counting our blessings, here’s to counting our successes, here’s to seeing the bigger picture, or rather . . . to framing our failures and successes with Death.

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