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HOW WE CAN MAKE A BLESSING A CURSE, NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH, AND MEDITATION
One of the many things that had (I’m glad it’s in the past tense) happened lately is that I went to utube to see if anyone was giving lessons in Indian classical music. Well, I was astounded at how much was out there. I marveled at our world and how, literally, at our fingertips, it is. This is not a metaphor anymore but real, like fingers, those amazing fluttering, flowering things at the end of our arms that have determined who and what humans are and what they are capable of becoming. There is, in a sense, instant gratification of our desire to know and learn.
I picked a raga — Bhopali — by a lovely woman called Aradhana — and stuck with it for two weeks, imitating her way of singing — what a lovely, clear and melodious voice! I learned much from imitating her: about learning each note, being on key, and not just voicing the note but loving it, staying with it, embellishing it, making it lyrical.
But there was a downside to this — because we humans don’t know how to define our thoughts, how to put borders around it, so to speak, and let them get out of hand (again that word) in the sense of loosing control over them. Instead of just appreciating the availability of the lesson (and I did appreciate it), I let my thoughts spill into: but I’m not good enough! I will never have a voice like hers! What’s the point of singing when my voice is so hopeless!
This loosing control of the mind can become like a whirlpool that can drag you down and drown you. I have no doubt of this because I know people, including myself, who go round and round and endlessly round in it, and people who have perished in it. These are dangerous straits because they can poison your peace, destroy your joy, and snatch away your life from you. And it is all your own doing! it is the blight of allowing our beautiful thoughts to flip to ugly ones.
There is only one solution, really, and many ways to get to it. The goal is to say NO to less than kind thoughts. No, not less than kind, but actually, brutal, vicious, hellish thoughts. And the way to get this goal is, first of all, to become aware of how far out into the stormy sea tide of thoughts has take you, out of the sight of wonderful, grounding, literal, land.
How? Observe yourself. The best way is to learn to meditate. if you don’t know how, begin. Who knows there may be meditation teachers on the net. In fact, I’m certain there are and will post some sights after I have researched them.
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