And how do you change yourself? By tweaking your perspective. Most run ins in relationships have to do with power play – I want it this way, and I don’t think your way is right. My mother has been my guru in this. After a bad day during which she thought she was dying, she has sprung back and is on the warpath, wanting things her own way. I have, after an initial, unenlightened struggle, pulled back, and say, whatever you want ma. Fine, ma. Great, ma. And because I have been doing this, she is in her element, feeling empowered, and even listening to me when I said to her, ma, the chicken is done. Don’t cook it anymore. Don’t dry the sauce anymore, because the sauce is so good. She agreed, and had the cook turn off the flame. She has been in the kitchen, sitting on a chair, directing the preparation for Payson.

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