SEPTEMBER 29,  2009

To fulfill my promise to myself to write a minimum of three blog entries a month, I have at least begun the third one before the month is over. I may not complete it this month, but a beginning is made and I am content with myself. It is a fine line I must tread between fulfilling my promise to myself and you without flagellating myself over a few lapses here and there. About treading fine lines . . . I am impressed by high wire acts. Who was that famous artist who not only walked on a wire above the Niagra falls but stopped in the middle to cook himself an omelet and eat it, too? (Please fill in if you remember and know). To get into another digression, I think psychically at least, living well, consciously, with joy, is a high wire act between two abysses. The wonderful thing about metaphors is that though they are indispensable for excavating and conveying truth, they can be abandoned when they no longer serve: unlike the physical feat, here we can and do fall off and away, but can get back on without too much damage if we realize it in time and remember to get back on.

Remember. Re member. Ah, what a marvelous and essential digression this would be! But that is another blog. I’ll wind up this digression with just a brief clip: Memory is the key to wisdom. In Norse mythology, Memir (from whom the word ‘memory comes’), is the giant who guards the well of wisdom. Wotan, or Odin, the primary Norse god, has to give up one eye in order to drink from it. It is a great myth and metaphor which I will pick up again. In Hindu philosophy, “smriti, simran,” words meaning ‘to remember,’ are also synonyms for prayer; when we fall off the wire we have to remember to get back on; when we are mired in despair and darkness, we need to remember light, and presto, it is present. Memory evokes, conjures, recreates, creates. Remember the famous ring of a Chinese emperor (who was it? Please fill in if you know and remember) who told his advisor: give me something that will make me happy when I’m sad, and sad when I am happy. And the advisor gave him a jade ring with the following words inscribed on it to aid his memory: This, too, shall pass. Memory, then, is the key to wisdom. Remember that. It is the only thing that can span the abyss of duality.

But I must explain why I have not written here for so long. The first reason was a slight sense of discouragement – Nobody is reading my blog! What’s the point? I have constantly to fight this monster, Discouragement. It saps my courage to continue. But as soon as I call ‘discouragement’ a ‘monster,’ mythologize it, I can deal with it. It becomes tangible and elicits my hero self. I am reminded that it must be fought. And there are several weapons in my psychic arsenal to aid me in this battle. The very first is the thought: I cannot, will not, absolutely refuse to, think in terms of failure or success till a year has passed. And even after that deadline I hope I will be able to extend the pact with myself for another year, not in the hope of gathering an audience (though that hope is always there,) but because, honestly, I enjoy writing here. It’s like chewing the fat with myself (for those who don’t know the expression, it means talking, generally with a friend, about this and that). My social energy is limited but I do have the human need to get nourishment from this fat. I chew the fat of words with myself.

No, this bog is not complete. There is so much I want to say, to myself, to you, but it will have to wait. Maybe not for long, I hope, but for now. Part of the pleasure of writing here is that other than a self imposed discipline, I don’t have to conform to any rules. I tend to be so very organized and anal about things that I have resolved, here at least, to free myself a bit from well-made writing. Just a little wave, a drift, a meander, will do.

Posted by kamla Sep 29th 2009

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